mutual respect

What a busy and mostly happy few days I’ve had.

Feet are keeeeeling me so it’s a percocet night. I can’t compare it to anything, it’s not like walking too far, or being in too-tight shoes. I dunno, bastinado? At any rate, yeah, feeling better or not, I’m going to back off the overdoing it a bit. My body’s still broken.

Owen both made me nuts and reminded me why I’m so glad I’m his mom, today. He’s a nice kid. He had a meltdown/tantrum (his aren’t severe) and I hauled him into his room and sat in the rocking chair. He cried and promised me repeatedly he wouldn’t kick me again, hoping to get to go out in the rest of the house. I said, “That’s good, because it hurt.” But there we stayed.

He crawled into my lap and snuggled for a good while, and I told him that I just thought he was safer in his room where his ideas wouldn’t get him hurt or in trouble (which hadn’t been the case) and we’d go play in the living room later on. That was soothing, we snuggled, then he got up and played awhile longer, by himself, quietly, then brought me magformers and asked for help building cars. His bladder called, and we headed off to the bathroom, and by that point he was fine.

Similarly, yesterday he dropped my phone behind the bed and it was a huge, painful, frustrating job to retrieve it. I was loud and cranky and when he tried to talk to me about hiding under the blanket or what Fritzy was doing I told him to leave me alone and that I was frustrated and would talk to him later.

So later, I called him to me (after a bit of unsettled playing) and said, “Remember when I was trying to get my phone and was yelling?”

“Yes.”
“Was that upsetting?”
“Yessee.”
“Are you okay now?”
“Yessee, you’re not mad at me.”
“Was I mad at you?”
“No…. you were frustrated because I dropped the phone.”
And that conversation melted into a huge snuggle and ticklefest, with so much rich love.

At any rate: We just *click* so much, even when it’s hard, even when I’m frustrated. It’s not always easy, but we read each other, we get each other. He’s an incredible kid, and we just flow so much of the time. We have an easy and happy rapport.

It’s amazing what respectful, honest communication with kids, even two year olds, can do. This is the sort of skill I learned teaching for years that serves me so well as the parent of a strong-willed, intelligent kid.

 

Owen climbing a tree, Central Park, Fremont

 

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